What is Different This Time

I have been a serious yoyo dieter since the birth of my kids. I spent most of my 20's with my weight between 115 and 130. I didn't really have to try very hard not to gain any weight. My metabolism was revved up from riding up to 15 horses a day and working out on top of that! My first pregnancy was pretty unremarkable. I gained about 40 lbs. and was able to lose all of it before my son was 10 months old. It didn't require much dieting at all, just working out a bit and watching what I ate. My second pregnancy two years later was a different story. I was depressed and stressed during most of the pregnancy. I had preterm labor at 6 months and had to limit my activity. I gained over 80 lbs. and thought I wouldn't have too much trouble dropping the weight. I was able to get down to 150lbs while I was nursing and then turned to weight watchers to lose the rest. I was able to get to a low of 135lbs. with weight watchers, but when I stopped nursing the weight began to creep back on. Over the next year my weight ballooned back up to 180lbs. I wasn't eating horribly, but I was grazing lots. Lots of snacks, lots of lattes and scones.

At that point I decided to try Jenny Craig. Jenny Craig was probably the easiest and most expensive diet I have ever been on. I was able to get down to 150lbs. Transitioning to normal food was a huge issue. I didn't have a great idea about controlling my portions or judging what normal portions should be. AGAIN my weight crept back up to 180-190.

So I decided to try LA Weight Loss. LA Weight Loss is actually a pretty good diet. They expect you to plan and cook your own meals within their guidelines. I called it the low fat, low carb, low flavor diet. I got used to weighing and measuring all of my food and the weight came off fairly quickly. I ended at 140lbs. I kept the weight off for a while, but as the pounds began to creep on, I stopped weighing myself and gave up.

So the question is, what about this attempt will be different? How can I lose and keep the weight off for good this time. I think it all comes down to my motivation. The three attempts I made at losing before were all motivated by a desire to look good. I didn't really care about my health, I just wanted to try to look like I did in my 20's. I succeeded and then realized that I didn't really like the attention that I got when I was thinner. It frightened me to be looked at by men. I am not being vain, I am just saying that the attention was uncomfortable. Being overweight is like being invisible to some extent. Men (and women) don't really look at you. You are just another person in the sea of anonymous people we encounter every day.

This time I am motivated by my health and mobility issues. I am in chronic pain from my injury. Weighing less should take some of the pressure off my lower back and hips and make my daily life less painful. Weighing less may make it possible for me to continue riding horses as I enter the second half of my lifetime. I don't want to lose something I love so much. I can't imagine living without my horses. I don't want to be on pain medication the rest of my life, or limit my activity. I am determined that this will make the difference for me.

Today is going well with the diet. I have a little less energy and only made it through 45 minutes of cardio today. My back was really sore from yesterday and I just fizzled out during the work out. I still burned about 400 calories on the elliptical machine. I wanted to switch to the treadmill, but when one was available (busy at the gym!) a lady cut me off and took it! I spent 4 hours at the barn, on my feet the entire time or riding, so hopefully that will help with my activity level.

Eating today has gone well too. The combination of nutracueticals and medication I am on really just make food a non issue. A couple times I felt a little hungry, but I didn't get obsessed by it and went on with what I was doing.

Today I have eaten:

1/2 c. fat free cottage cheese with cinnamon 70 calories
150 calorie protein bar
50 calorie protein water
1/2 c. fat free cottage cheese with 2 tbsp. salsa 80 calories

So I have had a total of 350 calories today and will have a dinner of:

200 calories lean beef
cabbage and onion saute
green salad
1/3 c. brown rice

Day two almost down only a ton more to go!